... it's time to properly evaluate the NBA Draft from four years ago. Sometimes the NBA is about talent, but mostly it's about titles. The 21st pick of the 2006 draft Rajon Rondo has won a title. But, now we do know that he'll have to win at least two titles to catch up to the third pick of the '06 draft Adam Morrison! Even the 25th and 26th picks of the draft Shannon Brown and Jordan Farmar have won two titles! Maybe Rondo will get another title someday, but for now Morrison looks like the clear cut best pick of the draft.
Before the game, I was wondering (you know how Ron Ron likes to wonder about things) how we can win a game on a Kobe Bryant air ball? The Answer (not Iverson): When Ron Ron grabs the board and throws in the game winner!!! 103-101 Lakers, 3-2 series lead going back to Phoenix.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Los Suns put up a great fight and I'm sure that some people thought us Lakers were gonna lose when ya boy Ron Ron jacked up a three-ball with a three point lead, full shot clock and less than a minute to go in the game (the percentage play). But, hey, Ron ROn and dem Lakers persevered. Hell, even Sasha showed some fire. Kobe was making errythaang. And dat's dat.
Your main man Ron Ron here with breaking news out of Minnesota, but first a short anecdote:
So here I am making myself a gmail account, you know to handle my business and all that, and the computers tellin' me I need a security question. I'm thinking whatever cuz ain't nobody dare fuck with Ron Ron's mail, but your boy didn't have a choice. Anyways, the webs asking me what my momma's name is, my first street and dog and shit, gettin real personal, asking me about my frequent flier miles (you know I be on them miles).
I'm flipping through these questions when an easy one caught my eye: Who is the greatest basketball player of all time? That's easy, your boy Ron Ron. Next.
So my boy, David Kahn, out in Minnesota (brrr, its cold out here.) just hooked Kurt Rambis up with a once in a lifetime opportunity. He gets to coach basketball in Minnesota. Anyways, lot of speculation out there swirling in the media been putting my man Kurt down, saying its a lame duck job where assistants go to die.
First of all, step off. That's Kurt Rambis you talking about, who we all know and love. (btw, shout out to http://www.kurtrambis.com/)
Second, let me only just say this one thing. If Kurt Rambis and Kevin McHale went twelve rounds, Rambis would win straight up sizzle. I repeat, Kurt Rambis would kick Kevin McHale's ass. Ya Dig.
Now here me out. The way I see it, its all very simple. If that dude's penis survived 7 seasons in a lockeroom with Magic (called his cock the wand), Kareem (a seven foot tall brother who plays the sax so you know hes packin'), Worthy (who wore goggles to avoid going blind at the sight of his own penis), and of course your boy Ron Ron. <-- The "Dream Team" --> then you he's straight legit.
Taking my analysis further, if acting credentials can be considered an accurate predictor of success, then Rambis looks to have a very bright future indeed. I mean, Woopie got the Knicks to the playoffs during the 90's and they've been stellar ever since.
Rambis achieved great fame for his role as coach Jason Cleary on 7th Heaven, where he was able to coach Jessica Biel to her full WNBA potential. Similar things can be expected for Kevin Love and Big Al Jefferson. The Timberwolves are sitting on the next Tom Cruise. His performance is on par with the greats like Charles Barkley for his role in Space Jam (you ain't Charles Barkley...), Dirk in Like Mike, Darius Miles (repertoire includes Van Wilder, The Perfect Score, and The Cookout), and of course that dude from Juwanna Man.
Kurt Rambis manages talent better than Ari Gold, and that means first and foremost managing himself.
Aight, it's your boy Ron Ron, bout to get it poppin' in the blogosphere to set the web straight with some true perspective on the NBA from your's truly, Ron Artest. Now you may have heard in the media that recently, the NBA champion Los Angeles Lakers improved by adding me, your boy, to their starting lineup. Let me say first and foremost that it is an honor to be the missing piece that will finally get the Lakers over the hump. For years now, NBA media speculation has been swirling over the "what if" of a Bryant/Artest duo tearing up the Western Conference. The media also focused heavily on the defensive deficiencies at the small forward position for the Lakers, noting an inability to make important stops down the stretch or produce clutch 3's. To these media conjectaturations your boy says this; Bryant/Artest = better than advertised, Ariza step aside. On my quest to win the ship for the great city of L.A, I've decided to share my wisdom and analysis on the league with ya'll. Your Welcome.
